In this episode we look at sharing powerful emotive stories and the 4 factors to be aware of for effective story sharing in your book.
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Book ideas can come in all shapes and sizes. But once in a while, you will have one that terrifies you. Today we’re talking about book ideas that you know is going to push you, call you out, and force you to take a look inside yourself. Basically, terrifying.
Sometimes we push these ideas to the side, because we recognise the challenges it will bring: Interference with our personal lives and relationships, the amount of time it will take to complete, the mental and emotional strain that it will put on us.
The task of getting the book done might just look to be too overwhelming.
There are four things to consider when you’re faced with a terrifying book idea.
1) Your thoughts: The thoughts we have around this terrifying book idea, generally goes hand in hand with the thoughts we have about ourselves.
It’s so easy for our thoughts to wander, to look at the decisions we made, our accomplishments, our judgments, and to go down the rabbit hole of self-doubt.
2) Your feelings: At the same time, you’re faced with your feelings. You start to try to determine if you were selfish or rude while going through this process. Your brain very quickly takes your feelings from bad to worse, without ever considering that there might be positives to consider.
We don’t allow ourselves to think about good things that came from the choices we made, or about the positive impact we could have had on others – or even ourselves.
3) Your experiences: You are suddenly faced with every decision you made, the things you did that you now want to share with the world. This is what’s going to terrify you, because you’re taken back to those moments where you made a decision, you reached a breaking point.
4) Your breaking point:
My own breaking point came when I chose to leave my teaching job.
I had always had this idea of leaving, but never realistically thought that I could do it. When I saw someone else do it, I finally decided to take the plunge. Just like that a weight was lifted from my body.
This is an experience that changed my life, but I was still filled with those thoughts and feelings of doubt, with so many questions.
I had to ask myself if I could do this, if I had it in me. The previous years in this job taught me to believe otherwise. I was told that I was worthless, and incapable of succeeding.
It took a long time for me to learn that part of my healing was to trust myself. And even today, I continue growing and learning.
The years of mental abuse still take a toll on this growing process for me. I am realising that there is growth that needs to happen, patterns that need to be redefined.
This type of book idea brings up all of these things, and in order to share this story, what it needed is immense self care, as well as sacrifice.
With ‘sacrifice’, I don’t mean the fact that you can’t spend time with your family, or that you can’t continue to do the things you used to do.
The sacrifice is choosing to open up and share these stories, thoughts, feelings and experiences that no one knows.
The crucial thing we tend to forget, is that self care is what fills your cup.
You are choosing to bring up all these challenging thoughts and experiences, to put them out in the open. And while it will be worthwhile, this requires extreme special care. You need to look after yourself, now, more than ever.
Are you giving yourself the time, space and energy to refill?
When we don’t realize how emotionally taxing this type of writing can be, we risk severely burning ourselves out along the way.
This is a very emotive type of writing. You are taking the reader on your personal journey. It’s so challenging, that it’s hard to get to the end of this process.
Because while you’re writing this book, you’re also busy with your business and you have a family life that needs attention. Now you’re adding in the process of going through these extremely taxing emotional experiences as you’re writing this book, and in the end you don’t realise how thin you’re stretching yourself.
When I work with my clients, one of the first things we do is look at their business. What do they have coming up? What can we remove from their plate to ensure that they have what it takes to fill themselves up while they’re writing this book?
In order to share this personal journey, your emotional cup needs to stay filled up. This is why it’s important for us to look at everything that’s going on in your life. We need to make sure that you have the help and support you need, because we don’t want you to end up hating the experience, and to regret making the decision to write this book.
What I want for you is to heal. What many don’t realise is that there is healing in going back and wading through the minefield of your personal journey and sharing it.
It’s hard to share your story as you remember it, because all you have is your own perspective.
Let’s take the example of a traffic accident. There might be several different people involved, or nearby, and each person will have a different experience of what happened. You can only share what you saw in that moment.
You have to try to balance being respectful of your own experience, while also being respectful of what someone else’s experience may have been.
This might seem like a strange balance to have, but remember that your perspective is what matters to you and it’s shaped you. In the same way, there were others there, and they also had their own experience. It’s important to be considerate of that.
But don’t let this, or anything, stop you from sharing your perspective. You may fear others judging you and thinking you’re wrong. Unfortunately this is a reality, there will always be someone who doesn’t agree with the perspective you’ve shared. But that’s okay, because their perspective is different from yours.
The important thing is that you were open and honest, because this book idea became a passion that just didn’t want to go away.
When you get this burning book idea, decide for yourself if it’s worth following through.
If you want to follow through, and you decide that you would like some help to do this right, let’s chat! I have space open for one on one coaching, and I would love to help you grow your business and your book, while taking your life to the next level with both.
We’ll get you in the best physical and emotional space, so that you can heal, and share the story that’s burning inside you.
Do you have any questions or comments about what I shared here?
Let me know by posting a comment, below.